Happy Halloween and the Neighborhood

Growing up, Halloween was my favorite holiday. I loved the fantasy of everyone in effect being something they were not. You could tell a lot about a person based on what they dressed up as. I usually procrastinated about what I'd be, so at the last minute, it was: grab one of my dad's shirts, stuff a pillow inside, grab mom's eyebrow pencil for stubble, put on old torn pants, tie a bandana to a stick, and hallelujah, I'm a bum. I'd come home with a pillowcase full of loot, most of which usually remained there until at least Valentine's Day or my mom finally threw it out.

I remember going trick or treating around my neighborhood in North Haledon, NJ, a neighborhood I moved away from when I was 15. To the left of us were the Beckers, then the Moores, then the Levajacs, then the Schmiels. To the right of us were the Wolfs/Pollacks/Dykstras and the Micklauses. Across the street, left to right, were the Corvos, Capps, Inzones, Lathams, Saweys, and Ackermans. All of these families must have made a big impression on me because I still remember their names and can picture their homes and faces 23 years later, more vividly than any other place I've ever lived. Halloween was the annual ritual of "My how you've grown!" and "What are you dressed up as this year?" It built community. People didn't move around back then. Half of them must be dead by now.

With our kids, I'm trying to create that sort of appreciation for our current neighborhood, which is a dead-end street of 5 homes in Grand Rapids, MI. We are fast friends with 2 neighbors and know all of the others by name, but haven't bothered to talk to people out on the main street. It's very different. One single guy has Tourette's Syndrome and is pretty reclusive. Another house is owned by a Vietnamese family who has two houses and seems to be here less than a quarter of the time. On the corner is an older widow who until recently had her son living with her, a good guy, but who had been a sex offender and couldn't be near kids. She'll be selling soon and moving into a retirement home. Out on the main street, people have moved in and out and I haven't kept track. At any rate, most of us don't emerge from our houses except by car - unless the kids or dogs are involved! Then we're walking, playing, and visiting.

Tonight, it was raining and chilly in Grand Rapids, and our kids had colds. Bummer. So it was off to the mall to trick or treat, of all places, the bane of every new urbanist and community planner. You know, it wasn't all that bad. There were families from all walks of life, jugglers, magicians, and cheerful high school volunteers in costumes giving away candy. We were able to interact with more people than I expected we would. It helps that our kids are among the 100 cutest on the planet. But of course it wasn't the same.

Those of you who know me, hold me accountable for this: we're bringing small gifts to the neighbors this Christmas, and having a block party or a barbeque or something this summer.